ON PASTORS AND SCANDALS

Let me begin by saying: Pray for your pastors.

With great joy in our hearts, my family came home on February 21 from the hospital having seen my niece Hannah born just the day before for the very first time. I was about 10 when I sat with my dad and mom in our old living room to watch the news, and to our great surprise we saw the Rev. Jimmy Swaggart making his internationally televised tearful confession. His confession was generic, "I have sinned against you my, Lord." I turned to my dad and asked, "Who hasn't?" Then with a rather annoyed "Shhh!" (hush) from my dad, the news continued with a report linking him to an admitted prostitute. He stood, turned the TV off without the intent of ending the news program. Dad was heartbroken. He had a collection of Swaggart's preaching and music tapes. He said, "Tan, go to bed." With their heads low and eyes filled with tears, my parents walked into their bedroom and shut the door.

Eight years earlier when we moved into town and after about two months since my dad started a church, the neighbors nicknamed my dad, "Swaggart Humbard" after the two most popular televangelists those days. My family was well-respected for our very good neighborly ways. My dad's reputation as the "beacon" of Bible truth and gospel preaching grew famous even among the Catholic majority of the town. He'd been called many times to do exorcisms and public prayers by some of the staunchest of Catholics! And while my family was far from perfect, it was respected.

The Swaggart fall and public admission of guilt however changed the people's attitude towards my family, the church and our members albeit our town stood halfway around the world from Baton Rouge's Family Worship Center where Swaggart was pastor. Add to that the fact we were Baptists, he was Assembly of God. But for the people in our community, we all looked the same and belonged to one flock called, "phonies"!

In our English class, we were always asked to "report" the news of the day at the beginning of each class. And what could be the biggest news that day other than Swaggart. I remember my teacher Mrs. Diaz asked me, "Jonathan, what can you say about Swaggart's confession?" As a young kid, I didn't know what to say other than, "Ma'am, if he meant telling God 'sorry', God would forgive him." And guess what I got from the class? Nothing but a loud "Boo"! Mrs. Diaz was evangelical but she did not stand behind me like I expected which broke my heart. I remember wondering whether or not Mrs. Diaz, Jimmy Swaggart and everyone else who identified himself or herself as evangelical including my dad were all alike, phonies- claiming to believe one thing and does another. It was a time when I nearly "lost" my faith and give up on the church. I was 10!

There is something to the claim that our true character is formed in the face of adversity or heartbreak. My young mind kept wondering about what I answered my teacher: "...if he meant telling God 'sorry', God would forgive him." Was that true, or did I just say that because that was what I had been taught? There was a battle in my head. But in the same head where the battle raged, I have also made decisions which translated into actions that didn't exactly please God. I too have committed and commit mistakes (sin) before God.

The process of comprehension and acceptance often leads to another painful truth. We are who we are both because of what life has thrown our way; and are by the various decisions we made. But more important than those two is, we are who are because of God's grace. That's the potentially positive effect of heartbreak. By the grace of God we can accept heartbreak as a window into our soul, and as the opportunity to expand our life possibilities - the chance to engage different challenges in a different manner than before.

And as I grew older I realized how weak and vulnerable everyone is. There is no SuperChristian and that everyone is susceptible to the schemes and attacks of the enemy. That's where you and I come in for each other-- we come into each other's lives and help try to follow Christ, bear one another's burdens and praying for each other as we fulfill the law of Christ which is love. Now that I am a pastor I have become more aware of the impossible side of living the Christian life. As a pastor, against whom the enemy is working double time, I have no other way but accept my weaknesses so that I may claim Christ's strength as I seek and ask everyone to pray on my behalf as I do on behalf of others.

¹Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. ²Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. - Galatians 6

Where are you broken? Where are you feeling defeated or faint or weary or afraid? Friends, today an invitation is being extended - an invitation to let Jesus heal you. Today you are invited to let Jesus silence your demons, heal your wounded-ness, and give you back a life that is broken and yet whole. That is the promise, and although it will look different for each one of us, the promise is the same. Will you trust that? Will you be strong and vulnerable enough to open yourself to the possibility of being made whole?

PRINCES AND PRIDE

In my fascination with history as a young boy I began reading about little known things about European royalty in my spare time. One of the most intriguing stories I found was about two princes who lived in the 1400s.

King Edward IV from the great Yorkist Plantagenet clan reigned as sovereign of England after successfully fighting against the other royal clan, the Lancastrian Tudor clan. Edward's health began to fail and he became subject to an increasing number of ailments. Edward fell fatally ill at Easter 1483. He died on 9 April 1483. It is not known what actually caused Edward's sudden death. Pneumonia and typhoid have both been conjectured, but there was also the possibility of him having been poisoned.

Between the few days of falling ill and his eventual death, he was able to change some letters in his will making his brother Richard, Duke of York as Lord Protector of the Heir Apparent, twelve-year-old son, Edward V of England. To ensure accountability, the king made his brother in law Anthony Woodville, the 2nd Earl of Rivers co-protector of crown prince Edward. When the king died, Richard had Anthony arrested and executed for allegedly attempting to assassinate the prince leaving Richard the sole protector of his nephew. In a pride-driven turn of events, Richard had his nephews 12-year old Edward and 10-year old Richard arrested and locked in the Tower of London.

On June 22, 1483, a statement on behalf of Lord Protector Richard was issued and read all over England declaring that Edward IV's marriage to Elizabeth Woodville was illegitimate and that, in consequence, Richard, not his nephew, was the rightful king.

Determined to take the crown for himself Richard III kept the two princes locked within the grounds of the Tower of London. But as long as they were alive they remained a threat to his power. There were reports of their early presence in the courtyards etc., there are no records of them having been seen after the summer of 1483. Their fate remains unknown, and it is presumed that they either died or were killed there. There is no record of a funeral.

Nearly 200 years later in 1674, while an extensive renovation was being done to the White Tower of London, two skeletons of pre-adolescent children clad in velvet cloth buried in a pile of rocks were dug beneath the staircase of the tower. They were immediately believed to be the remains of the two princes who died because one man was too proud and greedy to keep power and the throne to himself.

The bones were taken to the Westminster Abbey to be buried among royals.

Power. Pride.

It's pretty amazing how much that five letter word could corrupt many. Power isn't bad. But when another five letter word takes over, Pride, then it's another story. CS Lewis wrote in his classic Mere Christianity, "...Pride which has been the chief cause of misery in every nation and every family since the world began. Other vices may sometimes bring people together: you may find good fellowship and jokes and friendliness among drunken and unchaste people. But pride always means enmity..."

Contrary to our popular notion that pride keeps our heads held high it actually makes us look down. Lewis continues, "A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and of course, as long as you are looking down you cannot see something or Someone that above you."

PSALM 10:4 In his pride the wicked does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God.

Pride is the root of the election-related Ampatuan Massacre where 57 people died. Pride is the root of Tiger Woods' marital "transgression." It is the reason why there is a war going on somewhere in the world. Pride is the chief cause why Adam and Eve fell trapped in the statement, "you shall be like God." Who wouldn't want to be like God? Who doesn't want supernatural abilities? Who doesn't want power?

CS Lewis continues, In God, you come up against something which is in every respect immeasurably superior to yourself. Unless you know God as that, and therefore know yourself as nothing in comparison, then you do not know God at all.

HEARING GOD AT THE SUMMIT

I had just returned from a two-day summit called the Global Leadership Summit sponsored by the Willow Creek Association. Today's entry are just some of the gleaned and chewed on truths from that summit.

Unsure but Secure. Two nights ago, I was chatting on the internet with a friend who is currently in seminary about "calling." She shared with me that even as she is sure that God has called her to the vocational-ordained ministry she isn't sure where and what concentration. She had been my friend for ten long years now (since 1999 back when I was a freshman in Bible college) and although she hadn't pursued a degree theology just yet then she'd always been sure of having that sense of calling to become minister of some sort. But now that she's nearing her final semesters in the seminary where I also went she feels she is facing one of the greatest uncertainties of her life.

It was a joy for me to find out that evening we chatted to learn that she was going to Willow Creek's Global Leadership Summit. It was an opportunity for me to meet up with her in person and talk further about that call.

In the morning of the summit's first day, I called her on her mobile during the coffee break. Her voice seemed shaky as if she had just finished crying. I learned later that she and girlfriends from seminary were in a vehicular collision on the way to the summit. While none of them were harmed or injured they were all emotionally jittered perhaps at the thought that they could have lost their lives in an instant. While it was a scary ordeal, it was an assurance from the Lord that He still isn't done with them (her) just yet-- thus, an answer to her uncertainty that though she isn't sure what and where, God has a plan for her life and ministry. Additionally, the talks in that summit supplied the encouragement she needed so much.

In his talk, Bill Hybels mentioned of a time when he was ready to cash it all in-- a moment in his life when he was unsure whether he was called to do what he was doing. Discouragements, set backs, frustrations and issues gnawed at his spirit, inch by inch devouring what used to be the passionate Bill who chucked the opportunity of running the businesses his father built in a span of three decades for a calling he felt came from God- to begin a radical Biblical community. He ended up disappointing his dad for choosing to start a church than running his businesses. It was on the second year of Willow Creek's existence when Bill's dad died never seeing in person the kind of church his son was instrumental to starting turned out to be.

God spoke to summit attendees facing the same struggle. In what seemed like a whisper or an impression on my spirit, He said, "You may feel unsure but I want you to feel secure- I'm in total control."

Wayne Cordeiro on Monasticism. Part of my lectures in Church History to my students is on Monasticism. I was never a fan of monasticism for tone major reason: the church is called to be in the world and permeate it with the kingdom of God and gospel of Christ, and seclusion defeats that calling.

Tonight as I slipped into the quietness of my condo I hope to get some much needed sleep after a whole day of intellectual and spiritual engagement at the summit, in addition to a lengthy music rehearsal for tomorrow's services. Even as I type this blog, my head races toward stuff I'm assigned to do at next weekend's discipleship conference our church is hosting.

For almost eleven months, I straggled between serving as our church's worship pastor (a post I've held since 2002, on staff since '01) and as adjunct professor in a local Bible college on my days off. I must admit, I have grown tired. Since the beginning of the semestral break, I had been attempting to rest and engage in the discipline of silence.

Given my personality type- being possessed by the energizer bunny spirit that just goes on and on and on, silence just doesn't seem a discipline for which I am cut out. Besides, with the many demands of ministry, I haven't had a real break. At the summit I was once again reminded of that.

Pastor Wayne Cordeiro, pastor of New Hope Church Oahu, shared his personal story about reaching a point when he felt like a flickering wick.

Someone suggested that he spend seven days in a monastery to get his heart set with the Lord outside the hustle and bustle of city and megachurch life. For the first time, I saw the beauty of and a divine design for monasticism- we need to withdraw from the hustle and bustle of life, and quiet our heart before God- shutting out all other voices except God's. Pastor Cordeiro's decision was life-changing. Amidst a crowd of 2100 people at the summit, I tried shutting out all other noises and decided to listen to His whisper again--"Come away with me."

More from the Summit on my next blog entry...

THE FOUNT OF WORSHIP

DEUTERONOMY 4: 28 There youwillworship man-made gods of wood and stone, which cannot see or hear or eat or smell. 29 But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul.

Tonight's Yahoo!News featured Iceland and the closing down of the only three McDonald's in the country due to the weakening of their currency. But this blog isn't about the world's economy. I just feel fascinated with Iceland as a country and it's identification as a Christian state having a national church. In addition to being a worship pastor, I also teach worship studies and Church history adjunctively in a Bible college. Hence, the fascination.

As early as the 9th century AD, Christianity is believed to have reached the island. Some of them were monks from the British Isles seeking solitude. But a vast majority of the island's settlers coming from Norway were pagans and thus within a generation, Christianity had died-- blame celibacy (monks do not marry, remember?) and extreme solitude!

In 999, Thorvald Konradsson came to Iceland accompanied by a German Bishop (German Shepherd) named Fridrek, of whom little is known. Thorvald and Fridrek began the evangelization of Iceland. Their efforts were fruitless and they had become subject of ridicule-- what kind of a Norseman would believe a God who died on a cross anyway?

It was under King Olaf Tryggvason when the Christianization of Iceland became a serious business of the Norwegian crown. Olaf sent an iceland native Stefnir Thorgilsson to begin the work. But Stefnir had a totally different technique. He violently destroyed every altar and idol he found in Iceland. Stefnir was outlawed by the Icelandic people and was exiled back to Norway. Olaf sent a priest named Thangbrand whose missionary efforts won many to Christianity in the Faeroe Island. He was relatively successful in winning some Icelandic chieftains but he also murdered three in an effort to win everyone. Olaf took weirder measures- he banned Icelandic seafarers from Norway, and taking hostage Icelandics living in Norway, some of whom were relatives of chieftains. Olaf threatened to murder the hostages if Iceland will keep refusing Christianization!

Paganism and Christianity came to a point of rivalry in Iceland and threatened civil war. During an Althing (their primitive version of parliament), Thorgeir Thorkelsson, a pagan priest spoke and convinced the assembly that Iceland embrace Christianity as its official religion. His decision to favor of Christianity was made after a day and a night of silent meditation under a fur blanket. As an agreement, pagans could still practice their religion in private, and be Christians by name in public!

Not long after, Thorgeir took his household gods and threw them into the godafoss (waterfall of the gods). The people followed suit and within the next few weeks, the entire Icelandic population decided to be baptized.

A 10th century image of THOR, the thunder god.

Now Iceland has a national Church of the Lutheran branch of Christianity with which 80+% of the population identify and baptized into.

The Hallmigur Lutherna Church, Reykjavik, Iceland

But according to the most recent Eurobarometer Poll 2005,^[5]

• 38% of Icelandic citizens responded that "they believe there is a God".
• 48% answered that "they believe there is some sort of spirit or life force".
• 11% answered that "they do not believe there is any sort of spirit, God, or life force".
• 3% responded that they "don't know".

The worship of Christ and conversion to Christianity cannot be forced upon someone or a community. It is a personal decision of obedience to the initial call of the Holy Spirit-- conviction of sin, realizing the need for a Savior, and being gifted with faith, trusting Christ alone for salvation. That's when Christianity begins! That's the genesis of worship.

NO MORE NIGHT

Another quick note. I feel as busy as an ant!

I had been busy in fact that I realized just this morning that my grandmother's birthday (mom's mom) was last Thursday. Does it matter? Well, probably not as much when she was still living. But I want to write something about her.

She was the greatest opponent to my mom's conversion to the evangelical Christian faith. And although she never disowned my mom she had so much distaste for anything "Protestant." I remember my mom crying one morning during her devotions. She was praying for my grandma's salvation. Having felt led to make another attempt to share the Gospel with her, my mom went to visit her only to return disappointed! Another failed attempt. It was when my mom gave up when she received a phone call one afternoon. It was grandma telling my mom that she had just received Christ as Savior and Lord. My mom went to the nearest Christian bookstore, bought a Bible and gave it to grandma! It was my mom's happiest day!

My dad used to refer to my grandma as "Hitler" due to her very grumpy attitude! But Christ made a whole lot of difference in her life following her conversion. She became so positive that even in the last days of her life all she wanted was to make sure all her surviving kids know Christ. She died in 1988. My mom died in 1996. Today all her surviving children and many of her relatives are serving Christ!

My mom and grandma are both enjoying their heavenly rewards in a place where there is no more night, no more pain, no more tears, all they do is sing praises to Christ the king.

FLOODING IN METRO MANILA

I watched a movie and fell asleep on the sofa last night and woke up this morning to a flooded living room. About a quarter of an inch deep. Water from the ledge seeped into cracks overnight and all I've done all morning is sweep water into my bathroom! I went to the Condo Administration office and was told that half the residents of the 17-storey building have some form of flooding in their apartments.

When I turned the TV on, I was shocked to find others in conditions much worse than mine. I tried calling my dad and his phone was unavailable. He texted an hour later to say that he is safe but his bungalow is in waste-high flood. He was able to cross the street to his cousin Letty's house which has three floors. His worry is that his appliances will be rendered useless when the flood waters subside. I tried calling others I know and glad all of them are safe.

My friend from church, Tim and his brothers uploaded the following photos of their house in Xavierville. Their parents are out in the island of Palawan for ministry. I tried calling him but his phone cannot be reached.

Below is a home video by some girls living in the Katipunan Avenue area where Xavierville is. This is just one section of the metropolis deep in flood waters.

Tomorrow's assigned worship leader, band and team have all backed out since most of them are affected by the flooding. I will be the fallback, but that depends on how passable the road to church is. Last I heard from the condo personnel, C5 Road is a giant tub of water.

Please be in prayer for my family and friends affected by this wild tropical storm.

Below are photos of different areas by different people.

Still
Words and Music by Reuben Morgan

Hide me now
Under your wings
Cover me
within your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
I will be still and know you are God

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know his power
In quietness and trust

THE KING OF LOSERS

Palm Sunday marks the beginning of Holy Week, the last week of Lent, which began on Ash Wednesday over a month ago.

Jesus was welcomed into the city with accolades and praises. For Jesus things wound down pretty quickly after that, turning his parade of victory into what may be seen as a series of failures that wound up parading him right back outside of the city, up a small hill to the place of capital execution, called Golgotha. There, at the top of a wooden scaffold that held his body, a sign was tacked that read, “This is the king of the Jews,” written in three different languages, according to John’s Gospel, evidently so no one in the city could miss the irony.

Just as his title King of the Jews was nailed on his cross together with his frailed body only one of his disciples was brave enough to stand among the crowd to watch him die. All the rest went into hiding all afraid of being identified with him and thus be implicated. A criminal dying on another cross that same hour hurled insults at him. Soldiers mocked, "If you're king of the Jews save yourself." Three hours from high noon He died. He died because nothing in our lives is well. We're a bunch of losers! We're sick!

In this way, as his story becomes our story, we have less need and desire to deceive ourselves into thinking all’s well when really, all’s not well. And we learn that what we can not do for ourselves, God did on our behalf - he overcame our failure already and all we need do is let out a last gasping sigh of relief and live into the truth of it. The weight of failure lifted from us, releasing us into a new freedom.

As Paul will eventually write once he comes ‘round to the truth of it for himself, once he finds the awful weight of failure lifted from his life: “For the message about the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. For it is written, ‘I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and the discernment of the discerning I will thwart’” [1 Cor.1:18-19].the

One of the reasons we know Jesus swallowed up all the failure in his story is what happened to the failed disciples afterwards. They found resurrection. From out of their failure, a great, great hope sprang forth.

Here’s the ultimate irony: turns out that the man on the cross is a true king after all. He reigns in the kingdom of humility where up is down and down is up, where first is last and last is first, and where weakness and failure become transmuted into the very power of God.

Jesus is God’s cure for what ails us.

I invite everyone in Metro Manila to come to GCF's Service of the Tenebrae on Good Friday at 1PM.

--------------

Readings:

1. Stephen Bauman, A Cavalcade of Failure, CCNYC, 040107

2. J. Sidlow Baxter, The Master Theme of the Bible, Tyndale House 1980

3. Max Lucado, Grace for the Moment, Zondervan 1999

WHEN CHRISTIANS GET SCARED

It's strange that I received the following message eleven times today:

Calling all intercessors:
please intercede against the upcoming
national and international gathering of
satanists and witches to be held here in the Philippines,
Capiz and Siquijor. April 9-10.
Primary objective: To destroy Christian Churches.
Please Fast and Pray.
From: CCC (Campus Crusade for Christ)

Call me apathetic, but I for a number of reasons I could not even pray against the said "meeting" even as I received and read the message eleven times!

As I walked into the GCF building on a way to a meeting this afternoon, someone approached meand asked if I received the message. I smiled and said, "Well, I did, eleven times, in fact." He then continued, "Pastor, we must pray that they will not succeed against the church!" Again, I smiled and this time with an air of authority and seriousness in my voice. I told him, "Brother, I find it strange that Christians could be alarmed with such a text message/news! I will not pray for that they will succeed because long before this message spread, Christ had already spoken a word of victory! Matthew 16:18-- 'I will build my church and even the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.'"

When Christ said that, he wasn't guessing that the church might succeed, instead, it was a firm declaration of fact. Believers may fall into the enemy's snares, but we, whether individually or collectively are victors in Christ! The enemy has no power over believers! He is defeated already!

Another thing, if it were true that there is going to be a gathering of such, why would they meet on Good Friday and Black Saturday-- days that are most memorable to the devil and his demons themselves? Good Friday commemorates the death of Christ on the cross-- the death that gave way to eternal life and victory over sin and the grave!

I remember a time when I was 13 when my a 17-year-old kid came gasping for breath for my dad who had just concluded a Midweek Service sermon. The young man was sent to get my dad to help "exorcise" demonic spirits tormenting a girl named Marian. Marian was 14, who at age 9, following an accidental fall down their stairwell that left her lame since had become so strong that despite her inability to stand and walk could not be restrained by as many as 8 men!

The family had already sought the help of the local parish priest who came armed with three bottles of "holy water" which he emptied on Marian to no avail. It was strange because in a town as small as ours where the most powerful man was the parish priest ended up frustrating hundreds of people for not having exorcised the demons inside Marian.

The priest was just about hop to back into his car when my dad, together with a couple of dozen folks from our church arrived. The priest smiled at my dad rather sheepishly and said, "It's a hopeless case." When we got to Marian's house, there were countless people in the yard praying the Rosary. There was great shouting on the second floor of the house which only meant that people were restraining Marian. My dad was led upstairs together with some prayer warriors. As a curious kid, I went up with the team. I remember the horrible sickening stench that filled the house! Looking through an open door, I realized that the girl Marian was my second grade classmate who had to stop schooling because of the accident! She'd been drenched with "holy water," her eyes were red and fierce, her scream sounded like an angry man's voice!

My dad opened his Tagalog Bible and read Mark 5 aloud. After which, I remember my dad asking in Tagalog, "What is your name?" Marian spoke in a loud voice as though trying to scare and taunt my dad, "Why do you want to know my name? How dare you ask, scum!! " My dad, whom I have never seen so fearless 'til that night spoke with so much authority, "I am a servant of the Lord Jesus Christ....Do you remember Calvary?" Upon hearing that Marian screamed, she stiffened and after a few seconds went into a convulsion. My dad commanded, "In the name of Jesus Christ the risen Lord, leave Marian's body and never ever return!" Within a minute or two of violent convulsion the demons left. My mother started singing, "There is pow'r, pow'r, wonder working pow'r in the blood of the Lamb..."

In less than 30 minutes, Marian was conscious however greatly weakened by the torment she had. She was served food to eat. My dad shared the Gospel with the entire family and everyone under the sound of his voice.

Real authority rests in Jesus Christ, and according to Him, the gates of hell shall not prevail against His church! We are protected by the name of Jesus!

SOMETHING HAPPENS by Prestonwood Baptist Choir

(i don't like the photos, but the song is amazing!)

REVIVAL LOOMS

After a few jogging laps around the mall, I returned home with a weird drive to pray for my Church, revival particularly. The whole time I was jogging all I could think of was why for some reason, GCF is experiencing what may be described as a dry spell. While membership and giving are strangely increasing, worship attendance has been decreasing. It is, however, important to note that not only GCF is experiencing such but many churches in our area. Worship halls that used to teem with attendees are seeing more empty chairs Sunday after Sunday in the last several months. I was just jogging earlier with two guys from two other megachurches in our city who said they too are having a dry spell.

And so, I felt an invitation to lay flat on my face and pray. Just as I did my cell beeped with a text message from a pastor asking that I email him a document. I did so before praying. Just as I was about to sign out, I saw this quote in my one open email:

“If revival is being withheld from us it is because some idol remains still enthroned; because we still insist in placing our reliance in human schemes; because we still refuse to face

the unchangeable truth that “It is not by might, but by My Spirit.”

- Jonathan Goforth (1859–1936),

the first Canadian Presbyterian missionary to China

It came just in time when I was about to pray.

The alarming drop in attendance in many churches, not just in ours is a result of the increasing loss of spirituality among Christians and more importantly, the leaders of the church. Couple that with the pride in our hearts as churches that have grown so big and financially rich! We have become self-reliant. We have become complacent. We have become comfortable inside our large, cool, high-tech worship centers and pre-occupied with much programs. We have become more concerned with the breadth of our ministries over the depth of our spirituality.

Self-sufficiency is one of the greatest hindrances to spirituality and revival, because we would never have really understood the limitations of our own powers and subsequently how to truly and for real rely on a power much greater than our own. And we must be profoundly grateful and utterly changed as a result. Let's face it, we dabbled in the outer rings of faith-- most of the time, relying on our own strength to accomplish thing. But God breaks us so we might know what it means to die in order to live. The heart of the Christian message transformed from a flat two dimensions into three, or maybe even four.

What I can tell you is that at some point along the way something will happen, something we don’t expect, something that would come at us sideways from out of nowhere– and we have the choice to make about whether or not to let go and fall into the arms of God.

E. M. Bounds wrote, "Revivals are among the charter rights of the Church . . . A revival means a heartbroken pastor. A revival means a church on its knees confessing its sins - the sins of the individual and of the Church - confessing the sins of the times and of the community."

Jesus asserts, “Whoever serves me must follow me and where I am, there will my servant be also…When I am lifted up from the earth, I will draw all people to myself…”

And the mystery looms large and the mystery sounds like thunder, sometimes rattling and resonating our cellular membranes, the essence of our material and spiritual selves. Though we hadn’t thought of it like this before, its almost as if the seed is being put on alert that the time is near for its transformation. Time for the life God has intended for us all along. And if we listen, the voice says, “Watch Jesus. Listen to what he says. Let him move and see what can happen.."

This afternoon at our Pastoral Staff Meeting, each one in the staff has been having that same urge to pray for revival. At the end of our meeting, there was a palpable sense of wanting to pray! I'm not alone in my desire to see genuine spiritual revival take place. But like any other revivals, it must begin with individuals who are willing to be see God for Who He is and be smashed to pieces in order that God could reform us! Revival looms. We are all expectant!

---------------------------

Readings:

• Revival & Awakening, http://www.liftupusa.com/revival.html
• Stephen Bauman, The Heart of the Gospel, Christ Church New York City, 032909
• Awake and Go, www.watchoword.org

EARTH HOUR AND STEWARDSHIP

The Earth surface is getting warmer, so scientists say. The Ozone layer is thinning substantially-- it has been since the beginning of the Industrial Era when people discovered the use of fossil fuel to speed up everything, apparently! Now, my generation as well as the future ones are reaping the consequences. Despite our efforts to make ourselves and everything we use environment-friendly there seems to be little change.

This afternoon, upon returning from a speaking engagement, I dropped by the mall to get a light bulb for my study desk lamp at home. I went straight to the "Lights" section and found a bunch of cheap incandescent bulbs -- 13.00 Pesos each (a little more than 25 cents [US]), as I picked up one, a sales clerk approached me and said, "Sir, if you want to be more earth-friendly, buy one of these (pointing to a stack of Compact Flourescent Lamps at 135.00 Pesos each, just a little less than US$3)."

I want to be earth-friendly in my own way so I said, "Sure, I want to be earth-friendly. Please give me one of those." But I honestly couldn't help but state, "Miss, not to be rude, but if this store wants people to be earth-friendly then you should stop selling stuff that aren't." Good thing the Lord has allowed me to be able to afford a $3 light bulb for my desk lamp. But how about those who can't, which by the way outnumber my kind who can? They're stuck with using cheaper light bulbs which aren't energy-saving nor earth-friendly. I know a good number of folks who would not buy a 135.00-peso light bulb if they had a choice to bet something 90% cheaper!

Tonight, I joined the EARTH HOUR-- turned off all lights in my apartment- which reminded me of the Earth Day Energy Fast back in high school and college. Earth Day Energy Fast was folded in 2007 since the campaign's founder claimed it was "too late" for such a campaign to have meaningful impact.

Photos of the same area, but different angles and times-

above is the city observing Earth Hour. Quite cool!

Earth Hour is branded as tokenism in that it really wouldn't help the Earth any more that a using a worn out rubber shoes once a week so it won't wear out faster! But I see it as more than that. It is to create greater awareness that could lead humanity to "save" the earth by using other nature to generate electrity.

But what can we do, really? For Bible-believing Christians, we tend to be less concerned about the earth since the earth is going to be eventually destroyed by fire in the end anyway. Revelation 20:9 says, "...and the first earth had passed away." In another passage,(2 Peter 3:10) reads, "But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night, in which the heavens will pass away with a great noise, and the elements will melt with fervent heat; both the earth and the works that are in it will be burned up." But let's face it, beginning at the fall the earth began to rot. But it does not change the fact that we are still stewards of the earth.

In Genesis, God made Adam, together with his wife, a steward of the Garden. We find in Scripture that he did, even after the fall. I find this a simple, beautiful, and powerful image. Trusting ourselves, or trusting God. Pretty basic, I know. But then, as I often say, we often lose track of the basics, even those of us who have hung around on this earth longer. And yet, where else in our culture, where else in our daily and mundane affairs would this sort of wisdom be routinely accessed and affirmed? Do you hear that at work? On the street? In the media? At school? At Church?

The earth will pass away, but our role is NOT to hasten its passing but to be stewards of it as long as the Lord tarries His return!

UNSHAKEN, BUT MOVING.

This evening following Vespers I was approached in the lobby by a seven-year-old girl on her new pink kick scooter, she stopped right in front of me, waved and said "Hi, Pastor Jon!" while her dad, whose brother Rico was a famous matinee idol, walked up to me and said, "She'll be grade one when school starts in June...I can't believe how swift time flies!" "Oh yeah," I said, "you see those teens over there? They were your daughter's age when I first came to GCF."

I've been with GCF for nine years come May.

One of the things I most enjoy about my work at GCF, although I'm not directly involved in it, is our ministry to children. I love watching them grow up and see the church partnering with parents to provide programming that ensures their continual journey in faith. I see it as a great opportunity to lay a foundation upon which they can build their entire lives while we build a new generation of Christians who will continue the work we have begun wherever they find themselves in the world.

They remind me of my own spiritual roots where the earliest seeds of my Christian faith were planted. Like them, Sunday worship and Sunday School were regular and integral parts of my family life. It was there that I learned Bible stories and simple prayers and sang in the children’s choir. While my faith grew that way, I know that for others, you came to faith out of curiosity, some nudging or longing for truth and deeper meaning to life. God uses both. Others came out of necessity; following some tragedy like an illness or personal devastation. My guess is that our reasons and our longing for God are as varied as our individual personalities and needs. Some have been on the journey for a long time; others are just getting started. Either which way, you just found yourself yearning for the holy-- that's grace at work.

As I think about Christianity in light spiritual growth, the question I always ask is: How do we continue the process of maturing and advancing persons on their spiritual journey?

I think at the heart of it, spiritual growth has to do with one’s capacity to love him or her self in a way that inspires constant renewal and personal transformation coming to fruition by evident love for others as we love our selves all of which find their beginnings with the love and grace of God.

It also begs theese question for each of us:

What am I doing to nurture my soul? What am I reading? How am I praying; and what am I doing for self-care? Who am I listening to and where am I drawing strength? How am I being challenged to think, act, and be in a new way? Where is the tension? With whom am I sharing my story? How and where am I being useful within the entire kingdom?

Faith is not stagnant but ever moving and we are ever being stretched. What we try to do in the ministry of spiritual growth is provide opportunities for learning and transformation.

An appetite for spiritual growth is a mark of our commitment to one another so that the body can be built up so that we as a community can be God’s presence in the world. And sometimes this is the hard part. Sometimes it is easier to go off and help others than to do the inner work of one’s own self-reflection and personal engagement. It is difficult but it is necessary.

"Everyone then who hears these words of mine and acts on them will be like a wise man who built his house on rock. The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but id did not fall, because it had been founded on rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not act on them will be like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell and great was its fall!”

I realized that our church has become so comfortable in our new ministry center since it was inaugurated in 2006. While we do have programs that encourage individual growth, we have grown accustomed to growth being program-based. Discipleship has become a program, which shouldn't be, so has Children's education. Even worship and preaching have become somewhat programmatic. While the church calendar is filled with activities, we have reached a point of lull. The church has to rise just as Paul called, "O sleepers, awake!"

The Church must not be lulled into a sense of complacency at this point in her life. The church is a community of individuals who must stop warming pews. It is time to move. Now is the time go deeper and wider; to remember how we got here in the first place. What it was that drew us to commit our lives to God in the first place? Instead of thinking about what cannot be done; now is the time to be thinking about what can be done because of all that we have heard. And all that we have seen. And all that we know for sure. Now is the time to live out the power of our new identity and life, even as we remember the legacy upon which we stand.

We will do many wonderful things. Lives will be transformed as we are being transformed. There may be times when we as a congregation may be shaken by doubt and fear; differences of opinion and sheer fatigue. Attendance may decline or decline anytime, people's faith may be battered, storms will come. But those will be the times we need to remember that we are building a house on Rock.

Readings:

- Gilliard, Cathy, Vision 2020 Christ Church NYC 060108

- Evans, Tony, The Wise and the Fool, sermon preached at GCF April 21, 2008

THE LEGENDS OF THE FALL

It's not very often when I get to spend an entire day at home that's why I looked forward to today when my calendar doesn't have anything written on it for this day. I resolved to do a DVD marathon-- well, four movies in all, with time to reflect on every one of it. My final movie for the day- The Legends of the Fall.

It brought back memories.

I remember being told I was too young to watch the film The Legends of the Fall, a film that got an R rating in 1994. I hardly understood what the reasons why I couldn't watch it. I was sixteen as I watched my brother and his friends go into the theater where it played while I had to go with a classmate to watch Santa Clause!

Three months after I turned 18, I rented a VCD with a mixed group of friends! Following a time preparing for a report on Religion and Culture for Prof. Alcazar's Sociology 101 class we finally saw the flick for the very first time. With a bowl of microwave popcorn on my lap and a can of Coke on a coaster on a carpet, I sat on the floor intently watching, never wanting for any scene to pass me by.

As I watched, I found myself deciding on a few childish-sounding things: First, having the resolve to grow my hair like Brad Pitt's- coming from a tradition where men are discouraged to grow their hair too long, I felt like I was chucking tradition altogether- which I really wasn't, I just wanted to grow my hair! Second, I wanted to learn how to ride a horse. Third, I ambitioned owning a ranch in Alberta, Canada (where the movie was filmed) where I will have a nice brick and wood house built and on which I may be able to ride my horse around.

Over dinner following the almost two-and-a-half-hour movie, one classmate asked what fall meant in the movie when there was hardly a scene about the season. Immediately, I remembered the Biblical meaning of the word fall. That explanation led to a time of sharing the Gospel story that addresses the essential human condition. While the person who asked was interested, the others were not. I figured why.

It’s our natural human condition: fallenness. Theologicans call it depravity. The reasons some of my friends weren't interested is because, we, people in general, often really don’t want new information, especially new information that will force us to re-organize our understanding of how we are put together and our complexity in its less attractive aspects. Exploring our fallenness is a path not many want to take because it will definitely lead to a time to resolve whether to address the fallenness with God's solution or not.

At the least it would seem to include a willingness to become defenseless in God’s presence. To lay down the armor, lay down the self-righteousness, lay down our perceptions of how the world ought to be versus how it is, lay down our arrogance. After all, its only human arrogance that presumes we have any defenses in God’s presence anyway.

But now, here’s the remarkable thing: Jesus says this is the pathway to real life; the pathway to authentic love; even, the pathway to joy. It’s a paradox, I know. The point isn’t to wind up in a permanent state of gloomy self-preoccupation. The point is to find out how the world is really supposed to function, how each of us is supposed to function. The point is to clear away the debris so we can finally see what lies beneath, and in the finding discover our lives remade, restored, re-configured into something that is much closer to the original design specifications.

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Readings:

- Museum Wisdom, Rev. Stephen Bauman (CCNYC), March 26, 2006 NY

- The Legends of the Fall (wikipedia)

- What's So Amazing About Grace, Philip Yancey 1997, Zondervan, Grand Rapids, MI

THE "JOY" OF BEING ENGAGED

Like any other friend, I feel elated with the news that my good friend and pianist, Joy (who'd been a subject of a lot of my blog entries in the past) is now engaged! And like any "good friend" she never mentioned she got engaged last night. It wasn't until I logged into Facebook tonight that I learned about it!

After a couple of years of being her breathing room whenever she felt down or emo about her forever-like heartbreak; after many, many occurances of us being seen together almost everywhere together and mistaken as a dating couple, after lots of dinners, lunches and coffee; after dozens of out of town trips with our other friend, Lennie; after the many close-to-midnight, after-midnight, early morning phones calls I got from her whenever she went emo; after buckets of tears and lots of praying together-- and oh, did I mention the hundreds of times we were mistaken as a couple? Yeah, I did-- she's finally engaged to (snap...brainfart, what's his name?...oooh, sorry...I hate times like this one...oh yeah) Mark, the man she loves, and who loves her even more, I guess.

Mid last year, Lennie, Joy and I saw a chick flick-- they'd been good at twisting my arm to convince to me watch a number of such-- MAID OF HONOR that starred Patrick Dempsey where he played the role of a good male friend to a female friend he met in college who eventually asked him to be his MADE OF HONOR. I remember jokingly telling both Lennie and Joy that given our circumstance being the only male in our three-member inner circle, I should be MADE OF HONOR to them in their weddings! In turn, they could both be my BEST (WO)MEN!

Guess what, I called her prior to writing this blog entry-- I woke her up to congratulate her and to make sure she won't renege on that agreement! Haha!

At the height of her rather prolonged ordeal with heartbreak I'd told her to take small steps-- baby steps. Small incremental steps that would nevertheless point her in the right direction, point her "home," point her toward trusting God’s love. It took all three of us-- Lennie, Joy and me, taking those steps together.

While it is true that I had become quite busy to hang out with them nowadays, I still am taking those steps with them. The better thing now is that someone new has decided to walk along with Joy in a way I never can. Hopefully, soon, Lennie will be joined by someone as well, just as I will be walking alongside someone else...(maybe in Canada?!)

Congratulations, Joy and Mark!

LOSING TO WIN

Just a quick note before I go to "work" (I just have to let this out)!

This morning, following my quiet time in the book of Romans chapter 10- for which I see three different facets to one reality it poses- I went and took a brief visit to a rather unique part of World War 2 history-- actually, post World War 2.

Twenty-year-old Hiroo was called up to join the army. At the time, he was far from home working at a branch of a trading company in Wuhan, China. After passing his physical, Hiroo quit his job and returned to his home in Wakayama, Japan to join the Japanese army.

In the Japanese army, Hiroo was trained as an officer and was then chosen to be trained at an Imperial Army intelligence school. Hiroo was taught how to gather intelligence and how to conduct guerrilla warfare.

In 1944, Lt. Hiroo Onoda was sent by the Japanese army to the remote Philippine island of Lubang, Mindoro. His mission was to conduct guerrilla warfare during World War II. Unfortunately, he was never officially told the war had ended two years after he was sent; so for 29 years, Onoda continued to live in the jungle, ready for when his country would again need his services and information. Eating coconuts and bananas and deftly evading searching parties he believed were enemy scouts, Onoda hid in the jungle until he finally emerged from the dark recesses of the island on March 19, 1972.

The first facet-- Like Hiroo Onoda, a lot of people go through life believing the war goes on. He was never officially told that the war has ended. There are millions who have not heard of Christ's victory at the cross and so they live daily in fear and in the deep recesses of sin simply because they haven't been officially told that the war is over.

The second facet-- there are people who are supposed to officially tell about the story of victory but fail to do so. That's why Paul posed a challenge in verses 14 & 15- "How can they believe in someone they have not heard of, how can they hear unless someone tells them, how can they tell unless they are sent? It is written, 'How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news of good things." The idea behind the person with beautiful feet who brings the good news of good things is an ancient war "hero" who runs back into the city to proclaim among his fellow countrymen that the war is won. That is our role as Christians. We tell others that the war is over and we have won!

The last facet which isn't so explicit in the passage-- there are those who have learned that the war is over, and yet, they go to some Japanese straggler like Hiroo Onoda and surrender to a loser.

March 19 marks the final "surrender" of Hiroo Onoda. His surrender is an acceptance that Japan had lost the fight. And yet, his surrender gained him greater freedom.

In losing our lives in God, we don’t lose at all. We gain our true selves. Individually we become the person God sees and formed, no longer enslaved as the person we publicly project. Losing our lives in God frees us to shed pretense, to cast-off falsehood, to abandon bigotry rooted in our insecurity, and to break cycles of being and relating that no longer make sense. To the degree we succeed, losing our lesser selves enlarges our humanity. Do you see? Losing our lives in God is really gaining what God wanted for us in the first place – an authentic self.

The real challenge in all of this is learning to live authentically. It doesn’t seem to come easily. Since we’ve been so busy living another life instead of the one we were given to live, we have to learn anew how to make our way in the world, in our relationships, in our work, and in our faith.

LOVING EVIL?

Who was Fred Winters and why does he deserve getting a full blog entry from me?

This morning (Sunday) during the 8:15 worship service at his 1200-member church, First Baptist Church of Maryville, IL, Fred Winters, the well-loved pastor stood to preach when a 27-year-old gunman armed with a .45 calibre pistol burst into the church sanctuary and shot five times, three of which the pastor was able to deflect with his Bible shattering into the air like confetti, but his leather-bound Bible didn't work well as a shield, he stumbled and fell. The gunman's pistol jammed so he took a knife from his pocket and ran towards the platform but two members of the church tackled. Illinois Police is still trying to investigate the motive for the shooting.

Pastor Fred Winters died leaving behind a wife and two young daughters.

Some weeks ago, a gunman came and open fired in a Unitarian Church in Tennessee. While just last month I think, a man shot himself in front of the cross inside the world-renown Crystal Cathedral.

Evil seems to have made a bit of a comeback; into the common parlance of pundits discussing events like 9/11, the Oklahoma City bombing and the Columbine school massacre.

Through much of the 20th century, western culture tended towards a scientific hypothesis of human behavior, relying on biological, sociological and medical models to describe the human moral situation. But a few things have seemed to defy sterile scientific categories, like the holocaust, for instance. Evil could still be used in reference to that horror, but most other sorts of human fallenness were assigned to social or medical categories.

Do you believe in evil? is a question directed to me from time to time. My answer goes something like this: “Well, if by ‘believing in’ you mean, ‘believe it exists, that it is a something’, my answer is, yes.” It was C. S. Lewis, writing at the time of the Second World War, who said the first agenda of Satan is to convince us he does not exist. We demur about the personification of some sort of demonic essence, but the larger issue, that of the reality of evil, which was Lewis’ fundamental point, is actually not up for debate from the normative Christian perspective.

When Jesus began his public ministry he’s challenged by this noisy man who says, “What have you to do with us, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us?” Its an initiation of sorts; Jesus is set to contend with the world’s corrupting powers and principalities. Jesus will stand over and against all that opposes God’s graceful intentions. Love will be his counterintuitive means of engagement.

Friends, here’s what I’ve been thinking about this week. I want to be part of a church in which the family members are on a journey of discovering the real stakes in living moral, grace-filled lives. People who have made a sincere claim to work against the evil powers of this world, humbly starting with the content of their own lives. Loving the evil powers within and around with the strength of the Lord, and until it loses it power and control over myself and yours and change it by His grace.

We live in serious times that require a serious response from people who are yearning to grow up regardless of their age. I want to continue to evolve spiritually and personally, gaining in my capacity to stand firm with Christ confronting the powers and principalities aligned against life and love, powers that coercively work on my soul and blind my eyes from seeing the actual truth of my situation.

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Readings:

- Yahoonews

- CNN News

- Stephen Bauman, Deliver us from Evil, CCUMC-NYC

- M. Scott Peck, People of the Lie: The Hope for Healing Human Evil, Simon and Schuster, 1983, p. 11.

THINGS CHANGE, SOME SHOULDN'T

A couple of years ago, D. James Kennedy, Senior Pastor of Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church in Fort Lauderdale died.

After a long and tedious search for a new Senior Pastor, a couple of weeks ago the church voted to call the Rev. Tullian Tchividjian (cha-vid-yan), the thirty-six-year-old grandson of famed evangelist, the Rev Billy Graham. Tchividjian initially did not want to leave his thriving 5-year-old 700-strong, New City Church and become pastor of 50-year-old Coral Ridge's 3000 members- which on its 80's heyday reached more than 10,000 members. But Coral Ridge wanted him so badly that it suggested the Gen-X pastor to look into a possible merger.

Tchividjian, preaching.

the Coral Ridge sanctuary which was dedicated in 1974 by the Rev. Billy Graham

Tchividjian's leadership now brings the two churches of different "worlds" to a time of confluence. Traditional/Contemporary, Ancient/Modern, old and new.

Tchividjian is cautious about discussing any changes he might make at the helm of Coral Ridge. However, he said the Coral Ridge leaders had asked him to bring the “vision” he instilled at New City Church, a vision of “revival and renewal for all of South Florida.” New City is also known for blending traditional beliefs with modern methods, mixing hymns and contemporary Christian songs.

The minister said he also values a collegial church culture, “where the elders, the staff and the deacons are all friends, not just fellow workers. They should all be pulling on the same side of the rope.”

Tchividjian said he shares Coral Ridge's longtime values of “passionate preaching” and “robust theological commitment.” But he added that his selection as pastor shows the larger, older church remains flexible.

This news now brings to mind a transition that's about to begin to bud! My church's Senior Pastor has been mentioning in his preaching since about three years ago that "the Lord willing" he will retire from his post as Senior Pastor of GCF in mid-2010. Between now and then, the Lord is preparing the man that will lead GCF to greater heights. When that man comes, things will change, yet there will always be things- mostly principles that should remain. Those principles are what keep the church the church.

The vision that has been set before is grand but that’s what visions are – they are always bigger than what our eyes can see or we can achieve on our own. The church will be a very different place in the years beyond. Some of us will be gone on for one reason or another. Others will be added. Babies will be born. Converts will be baptized. Staff will change. Life will happen.

The church will do many wonderful things through Christ's Spirit. Lives will be transformed as we are being transformed. There may be times when we as a congregation may be shaken by doubt and fear; differences of opinion and sheer fatigue. But those will be the times we need to remember that we are building a house on Rock.

On Christ the solid Rock we stand – all other ground is sinking sand.

BORN LOSER

Sometimes he opens the door for people every Sunday at the 9&11AM worship services. Sometimes he greets people at the foot of the escalator handing worship folders. He is a Swiss gentleman named, Markus Loser! When I first met him seven years ago, I nearly laughed at the sound of his last name, Loser! He comes to church with his family and some of his usher friends would say, "The Losers are here!"

I used to dislike my last name, Las since it does not make any sense. My classmates have better-sounding Spanish names like delos Reyes (of the kings), delos Santos (of the saints), delas Armas (of the weapons), etc. In addition to that, I grew up among missionaries families like the Bakers, the Merritts, the Wellses, the Hooges, the Lyons, the Schotts, and a more funny last name, the Kilpatricks. My dad used to say, "I'll be late for dinner, I'm going to Kilpatrick" and the whole family will burst into laughter! But my last name, even in Spanish does not make sense. Las as we know is the definite feminine article the in Spanish. So my name can be literally translated as Jonathan The. The what?

Family history has it that when my great, great grandfather of Chinese descent was asked to "buy" a name that would make him a Filipino citizen he bought the name las Armas from a trader of gunpowder and ammunition. He was a poor speller, he didn't know to write Armas so he got stuck with Las.

I have since college appreciated my name for its uniqueness-- feeling that I am the only boy in this world named Jonathan Las; until I found a couple of men on Facebook both named Jonathan Las-- one caucasian, the other black! At any rate, Las is still a unique surname. I always say, "I will never be first because I will always be Las."

Anyway, going back, I figured, it's better to be born a Las than be born a Loser. Then of course, who would forget the name of the late Archbishop of Manila, Jaime Cardinal Sin? Or one of the Philippines' great Senator whose legal name is Joker? My friend Heidi from Canada told me of a family in her home church, the Virgins. Sam, a friend from Pennsylvania knows a family named Hiney. And with that somewhat humorous play of words and names, I figured, in a more serious sense, the importance of one's name.

Over the weekend I watched the film, the Crucible.

John Proctor says: "...Because it is my name! Because I cannot have another in my life! ....How may I live without my name? I have given you my soul; leave me my name!"

I'm actually reading through the Bible and now in the book of Numbers where some of the most difficult names to pronounce are found, and yet I couldn't help but think of how important these names are much less their amazing meanings. These are people, who in God's sovereignty, chosen for their names to appear in the Scriptures regardless of what they've done or who they were. This is something of astounding reality- the fact is, we will carry to eternity the name we have been given- upon which we have no choice. This means our lives are not the sum of all our choices, thank God. There are things in our lives that are beyond our choice or control.

Regardless of where you are in your life today, regardless of what decisions you face or what challenges or joys or questions or vulnerabilities or crises capture your heart and mind, be assured that whatever happens, God knows your name and you are held in His surpassing love. He continues to give us everything we need, grace and nourishment and strength to face every moment with love and without fear. The choice has been made on our behalf – God continues to prepare the feast and Jesus Christ is calling your name to join the celebration. The only decision left is whether you’ll really respond when He calls your name. And you'll officially remain a loser when you say "no."

THE OTHER SIDE OF HEARTBREAK

My Friday dinners have thus far turned into ministry time with budding pastors! Over the last several months, at least, I would leave the office Friday evening at 7 and meet up with these budding pastors.

I love human dynamics-- relationships, romance, emotions, spirituality, etc. From last night's dinner, two different but related emotions showed up and it's fascinating for a third person observer like me to hear stories about what they're going through, and how I am able to relate with them and somehow say "been there, done that." In a way, it becomes for me what may be a faint picture of Hebrews 12:1-- becoming a part of "a great cloud of witnesses" cheering on people who are going through some of the stuff I and many others have been through.

One of the many things that characterize a Bible college student's life- or any Christian for that matter- is heartbreak.

There is something to the claim that our true character is formed in the face of adversity or heartbreak.

It was in Bible college when I reached some of the most excruciating breaking points in my life. It was difficult to see God's hands at work in my life during those breaking points.

So I read, adversity comes to us early. As babes we emerge from our mother’s womb into a cold, bright, unknown world. Later we are left to sleep alone in our crib (and honestly I’m not sure for whom that experience is more traumatic - the screaming child who feels abandoned and afraid. Then the toy breaks, and so on. Before you know it you’re in high school experience different kinds of rejection, and let’s face it - that’s just never a good scenario. Then we don’t get into our first choice college; the love of our life marries someone else; we get sick; someone we love dies. Building character, that's the other side of heartbreak. [1]

And we shouldn’t make light of heartaches, for every ache feels fatal regardless of whether it is or not. A broken toy hurts a child just as much as a break up hurts a young adult. A broken heart at any age means that the center of life is shattered, or at least that’s how it feels at the time. But experience teaches us that we are far more resilient than we might initially believe.

Then the process of comprehension and acceptance kicks in, often leading to another painful truth. We are who we are not because of what life has thrown our way; rather, we are who we are by the various decisions we made: this job, that relationship, this conversation, that choice, that girl, that man, etc. If we had made opposite decisions, or even just different decisions, we would have ended up a different person. We are who are because of what we’ve chosen, and often our choices have led to heartbreak. But heartbreak has a potentially positive effect. By the grace of God we can accept heartbreak as a window into our soul, and as the opportunity to expand our life possibilities - the chance to engage different gifts and different challenges in a different manner than before. [2]

As believers, we cannot help but realize and accept that God is over-all sovereign. Nothing happens to us that is a surprise to Him. He knows. On the other side of heartbreak is that God intends for us to wait on Him and be given new strength- soar with wings as eagles, to run and not be weary, to walk and to toil, broken for sure, but not defeated, not faint, not weary.

Where are you broken? Where are you feeling defeated or faint or weary or afraid? Friends, today an invitation is being extended - an invitation to let Jesus heal you. Today you are invited to let Jesus silence your demons, heal your wounded-ness, and give you back a life that is broken and yet whole. That is the promise, and although it will look different for each one of us, the promise is the same. Will you trust that? Will you be strong and vulnerable enough to open yourself to the possibility of being made whole?

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1 The Rev. JavierViera, CCNYC 020809

2 Excerpted from James A. Harnish, FaithMatters: Great Gifts from Difficult Times, January 22, 2009.

YOU CHANGED MY LIFE (NOT A REVIEW)

Just a quick note before I head to my class.

Last night after the midweek service, I went and saw a Tagalog movie and felt very "high schoolly" again! Although the story revolved around two young adults, the giddiness it generates is quite teenie! Throughout the original Filipino movie-loving-young adult-filled cinema, there was palpable excitement with the many sighs and "eeeeks" and "ahhh".

It was a fun and funny movie, aside of course from the fact that the main female character in the flick goes to GCF regularly-- when she's not very busy, either in our Tagalog Worship or the English Vespers-- and although, I really haven't had the chance to meet with her other than shake her hand as well as her family members' no longer than two minutes she still is a part of our worshipping community. I don't get star-struck when I see celebrities, I guess that's a gift, but it sure feels great to see a movie in which someone I also see in church plays a major role! But I wish I could invite her to sing in our worship services once in a while.

Although I am not a huge fan of Tagalog movies- and that doesn't mean I am not patriotic enough; I'm just picky, I guess- it's something I would endorse for people to watch. It's clean enough with a lot of good strong messages on family values, hard-work, and purity, with lots of humorous cliches and witty quips!

OK, so I'm off to teach....ciao!

THE BACHELOR

Athletes exercise self-control in all things – unless they don’t. We well know that in principle, generally speaking, in order to win the race, self-control accompanied by hard training are required.

Record-breaking swimmer Michael Phelps modeled that behavior to a fare-thee-well in order to win all his Olympic gold medals, until this last week when he employed the young and stupid defense for being caught toking a pipe and losing a large commercial endorsement. Now Michael is in fact young and at least in that circumstance, stupid as well, considering that undisciplined moment cost him millions of dollars. While Michael’s athletic accomplishment remains undiminished he's got a bad record to go with all of it.

It's hard to do it. Even athletes struggle with it, how much more "mere mortals" like most of us are would.

After an hour-and-a-half walk & jog combination yesterday and shedding ounce-after-ounce of perspiration, I lost control of myself and had a pancake/sausage meal at McDonald's! As I ate my meal, I was haunted by my own crazy imagination- drops of sweat I shed coming again together and forming into a giant blob wanting to devour me! I finished my meal with a greater resolve to watch what I eat! Last night as I spent time with some seminary students at Krispy Kreme, all I had was a small cup of coffee!

I jog each morning not merely to look good, but to feel better. No one can ever question the health benefits of regular exercise. Fitness and Wellness have become a multi-billion dollar industry capitalizing on people who are more concerned with looking like "gods" than feeling real good. Looking good is the trophy!

As I read a passage from Paul's first letter to the Corinthians (9:24-26), I saw that Paul is after something other than any of the world’s laurel wreaths. He asks, why waste your effort on the perishable while neglecting the imperishable? Why punish yourself with self-control and hard training for things that are at best of second, third or fourth tier value? How hard do you train for what finally matters in life?

What have you achieved? What can you boast of accomplishing? Do they really matter in life? Education, monies, possessions, and titles-- are they all that matter in life?

It's interesting to note that the word bachelor comes from the Latin baccalurei which means, a recipient of praise of laurel. The Greeks, unlike the Romans, never waged wars with the aim of occupying and enslaving neighbouring countries or winning crowns. Greeks are into the Sport tradition, the laurel wreath had a lot of weight for the politicians. Graduates and poets received wreaths of laurel, a symbol of praise and scholarship. For the reason that Apollo been the god of poetry, his emblem, that of victory and clemency, became the favourite of the poets, and hence of scholars, so that successful graduates of universities or other learned married men became known as laureates, (or, baccalaurei for unmarried learned men).

Paul devoted his life to proclaiming that no matter your current condition, whether you’re in good shape or bad, whether or not you’ve spent out your life on secondary matters or even lost your way entirely, you can begin again. And more, you are loved. And even more, you are God’s beloved; and still more, God can do for you what you cannot do for yourself. The dynamic grace of God is active all the time, prodding, pushing, pulling you into your own better self whether you know it or not.

While God loves us and will do for us things that are impossible for us to do on our own, it does not mean we will not have to endure the pains of self control. Any form of discipline requires subjecting oneself to many rigors. The phrase “No pain, no gain” cliché is so true to self-control. As Paul said 2000 years ago, “I do not run aimlessly, nor do I box as though beating the air; but I punish my body and enslave it…”

For me this means taking charge of your spiritual growth! Progress on your spiritual journey is the product of sometimes saying "no" to and abstaining from things and activities that are binding to the will, which can be in some cases agonizing to the soul and the body. But we are not without help from His Spirit-- His grace. The goal of His grace is to make us like His Son, Jesus.

Again, Paul wrote, “Athletes exercise self-control in all things; they do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable one.” A closer modern translation of the original Greek here would be more like, “If these athletes push themselves to the limit in training to win that pathetic crown of withered vegetables, how much more should we maintain self-discipline for the sake of an imperishable crown?”

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Readings and Bases:

- Tom Peters, The Pursuit of WOW!, Vintage, 1984.
- Richard B. Hayes quoted by Michael Rogness in Lectionary Commentary, The Second Readings, 2001, Eerdmans.

- Scott Bauman, Christ Church UMC NYC

A QUIET PARTY

A slacker. I have been a slacker the last couple of months in my blogging! I used to write something almost every day in the past. But for some reason, I had been slacking. People have been sending me personal messages asking me why I don't write as much as before. I must admit, I have allowed for quite a number of experiences over the last several weeks that are worth blogging which I failed to write about.

Well, for one I have been learning a lot about the ancient art and science of quietness/silence.

An American lady walked into the room where some of the Bible college staff were having breakfast. She walkeds to the buffet table, scooped some rice, corned beef hash and scrambled eggs. She walked to the table across ours and asked, "What is this?" Jule, Bible college staffer answered, "Corned bits and potatoes!" With a puzzled look on the lady's face obviously trying to figure out what Jule meant I realized she needed more information. Good thing Jule realized she made a mistake and corrected herself right away: ""Corned Beef." The lady smiled and said, "This wouldn't be a typical Filipino breakfast, would it?" I answered, "No. Traditionally, Filipinos eat pan de sal (which is a simple kind of bread) and coffee to go with it; or dried fish and fried rice." She smiled at me and asked, "And where did you get your American accent?" "Oh, do I sound and speak like an American?" I asked.She answered, "Oh, yes you do.You certainly don't sound like anyone I've spoken with here in the Philippines!"

And that's how I met Nancy Irving, the General Secretary of the London-based Friends World Committee for Consultation, an organization that seeks to encourage fellowship among all the branches of the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers). Quakers are known for their love for and strong emphasis on listening to God in silence. In her devotional time in a recent retreat speaking on the Lord's Prayer, she led the congregation to a time of silent worship and listening to God.

Allison Siewert, worship leader and a known writer on the subject of worship leadership in the book Worship Team Handbook (which I read a couple of years ago) referred to worship as "God's party." I totally agree. It is His celebration- all that's said and done in worship is geared towards the recognition of who He is and what He's done. When we associate praise and worship with joyful noise and exhuberant music, nothing else comes close to such description other than a party. But silence? While silence in worship is not foreign to me, as a Baptist of the "contemporary worship" tribe, silence in worship is something most of my co-tribesmen isn't used to. In fact, we're afraid of silence. We call it "dead air." We loathe dead air in worship.But being led to a time of silence and listening was a rather refreshing time for me. You see, prior to the retreat, I was sick with flu (and am still recovering from it's effects) and thus, a majority of the days preceding that retreat were spent at home alone in silence which somehow prepared me for such.

I must admit, even my supposed "quiet times" with the Lord are noisy. Sometimes I do a lot of the talking and spend very little time listening. Even when I write my thoughts on my journal my mind races amidst noise in my head.

An hour ago I was reading the latest LEADERSHIP Journal in the library where there is an article by Bethel Seminary professor Chris Armstrong about Gregory the Great which included a section on the value of being a contemplative Christian in a post-modern, noisy world. Gregory wrote, "...turn away from distractions of knowing about things to the serious, even frightening task of reflection on the inner self."

It's interesting to note that quietness is a missing jewel in the larger evangelical community. It has to be rediscovered. Nowadays, we get scared of silence since a lot of times we associate it with loneliness, the dark, depression, or the lack of emotional and physical engagement. Imagine entering an old museum with an average level of excitement, within minutes you become awed by the sheer age, beauty, glory of the museum items. You discover later, after you’ve made your way back out that there have been people who have walked before you, and in a sense you are haunted with solemn counterpoint bringing necessary depth and breadth to understanding of your human experience.

While I do not intend to convert to Quakerism anytime, I know that Jesus valued what these people valued. He often withdrew to quiet places to be alone, listening, communing with the Father. Can that state of silent communion with the Spirit of God be achieved even in the middle of five thousand people gathered in worship? I think so.