My Friday dinners have thus far turned into ministry time with budding pastors! Over the last several months, at least, I would leave the office Friday evening at 7 and meet up with these budding pastors.
I love human dynamics-- relationships, romance, emotions, spirituality, etc. From last night's dinner, two different but related emotions showed up and it's fascinating for a third person observer like me to hear stories about what they're going through, and how I am able to relate with them and somehow say "been there, done that." In a way, it becomes for me what may be a faint picture of Hebrews 12:1-- becoming a part of "a great cloud of witnesses" cheering on people who are going through some of the stuff I and many others have been through.
One of the many things that characterize a Bible college student's life- or any Christian for that matter- is heartbreak.
There is something to the claim that our true character is formed in the face of adversity or heartbreak.
It was in Bible college when I reached some of the most excruciating breaking points in my life. It was difficult to see God's hands at work in my life during those breaking points.
So I read, adversity comes to us early. As babes we emerge from our mother’s womb into a cold, bright, unknown world. Later we are left to sleep alone in our crib (and honestly I’m not sure for whom that experience is more traumatic - the screaming child who feels abandoned and afraid. Then the toy breaks, and so on. Before you know it you’re in high school experience different kinds of rejection, and let’s face it - that’s just never a good scenario. Then we don’t get into our first choice college; the love of our life marries someone else; we get sick; someone we love dies. Building character, that's the other side of heartbreak. [1]
And we shouldn’t make light of heartaches, for every ache feels fatal regardless of whether it is or not. A broken toy hurts a child just as much as a break up hurts a young adult. A broken heart at any age means that the center of life is shattered, or at least that’s how it feels at the time. But experience teaches us that we are far more resilient than we might initially believe.
Then the process of comprehension and acceptance kicks in, often leading to another painful truth. We are who we are not because of what life has thrown our way; rather, we are who we are by the various decisions we made: this job, that relationship, this conversation, that choice, that girl, that man, etc. If we had made opposite decisions, or even just different decisions, we would have ended up a different person. We are who are because of what we’ve chosen, and often our choices have led to heartbreak. But heartbreak has a potentially positive effect. By the grace of God we can accept heartbreak as a window into our soul, and as the opportunity to expand our life possibilities - the chance to engage different gifts and different challenges in a different manner than before. [2]
As believers, we cannot help but realize and accept that God is over-all sovereign. Nothing happens to us that is a surprise to Him. He knows. On the other side of heartbreak is that God intends for us to wait on Him and be given new strength- soar with wings as eagles, to run and not be weary, to walk and to toil, broken for sure, but not defeated, not faint, not weary.
Where are you broken? Where are you feeling defeated or faint or weary or afraid? Friends, today an invitation is being extended - an invitation to let Jesus heal you. Today you are invited to let Jesus silence your demons, heal your wounded-ness, and give you back a life that is broken and yet whole. That is the promise, and although it will look different for each one of us, the promise is the same. Will you trust that? Will you be strong and vulnerable enough to open yourself to the possibility of being made whole?
----------------------------------- 1 The Rev. JavierViera, CCNYC 020809 2 Excerpted from James A. Harnish, FaithMatters: Great Gifts from Difficult Times, January 22, 2009.
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