It has been said that life is the sum of all your choices.
In one sense, this is undeniably true. And this is the cause of no small amount of anxiety in those moments of life when we are faced with decisions on which, it seems, our entire future hangs in the balance.
Two days ago, a lady I've known for six years now approached me and asked if I would be interested in working with her husband who is now ministering among dispersed Filipinos and internationals in a large cosmopolitan North American city. I answered (like any Christian would), "I'll pray about it."
Our choices give shape to the narrative of our lives. It would be a mistake – and frankly irresponsible – for me to suggest however, that the contours of our lives are carved out of our choices alone.
Who we are and who we are becoming, our personalities and loves, our passions and our desires, even the choices with which we are faced at any given moment evolve within the rich and complicated reality of family and time and place and genetics and circumstance. The stories of our lives inevitably involve other characters – lovers, enemies, friends – and all this within the frustrating context of a world in which all of life is vulnerable and uncertain and limited. Things happen – to us and around us – things that affect our lives in ways that we have no choice about the matter- disease, violence, abuse, crumbling markets, storms, flood, death. [1]
I have been a Christian for so long that I cannot dismiss the importance of discerning God's will through prayer. But I have also been a Christian long enough to know that God has directives that no amount of praying can sway!
Should I stay or should I go – in this job or this relationship or this city? Do I say yes or do I say no? At this particular crossroads, which path will I choose to travel? The answers we make to these and so many other questions determine where we go, who we travel with, what we spend our time, energy, money on and all the rest. Our choices give shape to the narrative of our lives. [2]
About three hours ago, I received a text message asking, "Would you say that I am playing with fire....?" After giving the person's situation some thought I gave my (very pastoral) two cents. Ultimately, my two cents dealt with respecting ther person's choice to whether or not to fully obey God's explicit directive found in scripture concerning the situation. It appears that the person is enjoying and loving the situation she finds herself in. But she also understands that it is not an ideal situation especially for her who knows what God view about it! When we find ourselves in an ideal situation we associate it with God's seal of approval. If it makes us feel good, happy and pleased then God must be behind it. Hmmm....
A year ago, I was at a very expensive preaching conference sponsored by the UK-based Langham Partnership. Preachers were given Scripture passages to interpret. The guest scholar-lecturer was surprised with the preoccupation of Filipino ministers with the idea of blessing-prosperity-abundance-happiness evident in their interpretation of certain scriptures!
But it must be understood that sometimes we find ourselves at a time when we feel like a tree being pruned by a chainsaw without anesthetics and believe that God is building for us a resume that reflects a fully developed faith characterized by obedience! Who can’t relate to the moment when you have offered all you have, have put your very heart on the line, and are rejected, blown off, abandoned?
Our lives are not the sum of all our choices, thank God!
Our lives are not dependent upon the strength of our own skills. If that were the case, then we’d easily end up in despair – for we know well enough the limits of our own power to make it to the gym or to write that letter or make that phone call – much less our power to make life different, to make love appear, to make relationships work, to solve the crises that face us.[3]
For people of Christian faith, true life is found not in our choice, but in God’s choice. And that in living within God's will, we choose to obey His choice!
When I was an exchange student, among the best gifts I received throughout the program were a pair of WWJD wristbands from a Lutheran girl named Jen.
WWJD- "What would Jesus Do?" It was given to me at a time when I was "enjoying" the explicit attention of four beautiful and nice but non-Christian girls! What can I say, I was "exotic" (the adjective not the noun) in that part of the world! I jokingly told Jen that WWJD could also mean "Who Would Jon Date? I remember telling her that while she put the band around my wrist over lunch with a couple other friends. She answered, "Jon would date the girl Jesus wants for him." I ended up dating none of the four!
Lesson learned: We need to choose God's choice for us.
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[1] Ginger Gaines-Cirelli, The Choice, October 12, 2008, CCNYC [2] ibid [3] ibid
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