Today is my ahia's (older brother) birthday.
Quite honestly, I feel like I am the worst younger brother on earth for not showing up at his birthday dinner tonight. Every member of the family was there-- so I was told! I have a valid excuse- I had to preside over our Wednesday Night Worship. The problem is, tonight's birthday dinner was the last big event before a huge chunk of my family leaves for the US! Well, we still have this Saturday to gather as a family for All Saints' Day festivities before they fly out at 2AM on Sunday!
Sadly, I have missed a good number of important events, relatives' individual milestones, and family gatherings over the last couple of years largely due to some conflict of schedule with ministry undertakings and Church-related events. To name a few: The dedication of my niece's baby boy, Daniel took place at Eastwood while I was facilitating a boys' Bible study at last summer's camp in Antipolo; my nephew Jacob's first birthday party (2005) happened while I was at a Young Adult outing in Anawangin, Zambales; I was in a preachers conference while my niece had her groundbreaking modeling event; I missed several Christmas Eve dinners because I had to lead worship at church; I was speaking at an event when my nephew was conferred his degree in journalism with honors at the PICC. That's just a few of big events I missed, you catch my drift. But that is not to say I'm blaming the ministry for my lack of time for and involvement in family affairs.
Tonight, even as the preacher delivered his homily, my mind occasionally drifted to my brother's 37th birthday party. My brother, who's been realizing a number of major things in his life lately-- particularly, God's proper place in his life, has obviously been taking much effort in making sure we bond together more often than we used to. Maybe he's finally realized that we're no longer little boys! And that the brother whom he used to pick on often-- his junior of six years, is now a pastor. But no matter what I turn out to be, he would always be my older brother!
As I came home tonight, I was exchanging text messages with my nephew Josh (who is leaving for Tampa Sunday morning), I pulled out photos from my dresser drawer, sat on my bed and browsed through memories captured on paper. In those pictures I realized the toll that time has taken on my grandparents and parents, and was reminded of human mortality. Other pictures reminded me of how inseparable and tightly knit my brothers and I once were, and I felt the need to close the gap that adulthood, geographic distance, and separate lives has created. I remembered friends once dear, and wondered what ever became of them. Thank God for that my dad who had a love affair with his camera when I was growing up, for without it a part of me would be lost.
Have you ever had a moment like this? A time when you remember who you are; a time when memories flood you and overwhelm you, revealing to you something that you always knew, but for whatever reason, forgot or took for granted? I imagine that you have. It’s important to take time to remember the parent or grandparent you loved, but who is no longer here; the house that kept you safe and warm, but which you haven’t seen or entered in years; the friends who shared the ecstasy and the agony of growing up. If you’ve not done this, I encourage you to find the time to do so. It’s powerful, and puts life in appropriate perspective.
I realized just now, that when my nephews, nieces and family members browse through photos taken in recent events several decades from now and NOT find Uncle Jon or Kuya Tan in them, posterity will forget that they had such a relative. But more than just "freezing time" in pictures, the impact of my life on them far outweighs every megabyte of digital photos. How will I impact people if I were not around in many occasions?
Last weekend, I was in Baguio with friends. It was weird for us to have went to and returned from Baguio without ever taking any pictures! Some of the events and happenings we've just committed to memory! But until when can the memories be stored in our heads? How many lives have been touched in the trip? Take that question into our bigger journey of life and think of the difference you've made in the lives of others by your mere presence in their lives?
My point in this whole blog entry is one simple question: What gift of love will you contribute to your family album?
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This is GCF's version of "God of the Ages."
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