PURSUING A WIFE (?)

This morning, in the elevator, I bumped into another Pastor. He ministers at our Sta. Rosa satellite church. He looked excited. I remembered that his wife had just given birth to a bouncing baby boy last week, so I congratulated him! He thanks me and says, "Bro, it feels good to be a dad for the very first time...almost similar to getting married, but better!....So, our single pastors are getting married...are you on queu? When are you getting married?"

Last night, on my way home I got a hot cup of Chai Latte from Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. As I waited for my tea, leaning against the steel rail leafing reading the back of a new DVD I bought, a couple I know came in. While the man ordered at the counter, the woman started some small talk with, and without slowing down shifted to saying, "My hubby and I know someone you might be interested in." I was like, "Hmm...what made you sure I'd be interested?"

It's funny how many people are concerned with my own future married life than I am. But I guess I'm at that age when everyone wishes I am married, or I would get married soon. At every wedding, every engagement party....even funerals, people ask me, "When are you getting married Pastor Jon? You're 30!" Someone even quoted Proverbs 18:22: "He who finds a wife finds what is good and received favor from the Lord!" Talk about pressure!

Well-intentioned church folks go as far as Kai Shao (Chinese traditional practice of introducing singles with others-- a blind date of sorts)! Some folks think when a man just turned 30 and is still not married, all possible human intervention becomes a necessity! Ten years back my dad gave me a gold ring as a gift! Being a silver lover, I never wore it until I unearthed it under a pile of old college term papers last Labor Day weekend when I cleaned my dresser. The only finger through which it fits is my ring finger! And thus, one lady remarked, "Please, take that off for your marketability's sake!" That's funny-- marketability!

I know it is my responsibility to initiate a relationship even though I might feel scared to death to make the first move. It's my job to show up at her doorstep with flowers in my trembling hands. I believe it's the man's responsibility to initiate the relationship. But that statement comes with some serious qualifiers. Though it is the guy's job to pursue, that does not negate God's role. God is still the best matchmaker. We should never rush into relationships by running roughshod over the leading of His Spirit. Only after prayer and careful consideration should we proceed.

It's equally important that we be sensitive in reading God-ordained signals. While women want men to be proactive, when the romantic feelings are not mutual, being aggressive is not cool — it's creepy. If man's advances receive chilly receptions, we should not soldier on. Doing so will likely only fortify — not wear down — her defenses. Back off and behave like a brother.
But if you're one of the myriad men sitting on the fence too scared or too "spiritual" to pursue a woman, it may be time to man-up and make a move. I know taking risks can be daunting. But often the most rewarding journeys begin with uneasy and faltering steps.

God created men to be pursuers. So next time God brings a godly woman into your life, don't sit around twiddling your thumbs. The love of your life could be passing you by! (I'm talking to myself now!)

(jonlas.drewdyck)